Whats in a Name??

Friends we all have a property that is used more by others than us…. Any guesses as to what it is???….its none other than our name! We often tend to feel what’s in a name? It’s just the recognition of the individual to whom it belongs to. But in fact my 9 lettered property starts with ‘V”, and has added essence to my life…..

Most of the data in this world is stored alphabetically, and this practice starts right from our school attendance. Thanks to my name, I was always the first from the last to answer the attendance and this made me feel like a laggard, and I had to sit in the last row in all examinations without proper light or fan. Teas and biscuits will be distributed to all in the hall as I was the last in the big hall, by the time the tea master reaches my place all biscuit packets would have been emptied…..

In everything and everywhere I was the last… and I developed a feeling that my name is going to keep me away from all good things in life….in fact I developed an inferiority complex that students named with first letters like A, B, C… are so brilliant and will be successful in their lives…..and I was not destined to be so… that is when I decided to research more on the same…

Have you ever asked yourself, "What does your name mean??” Most people have some idea of the meaning of their name or whom they were named after. I was so frustrated with the trouble my name caused me, and I decided to confront my father with the same. I asked him why he had named me Vinodhini and made me miss all my biscuits and tea.... To my extreme consternation, he only seemed amused at my predicament. He explained that when I was 2 months old… my umpteen number of relatives came up with umpteen names, and I looked back only when my aunt called me Vinodhini…Vinodhini….Vinodhini…. Sentimentally, its goddess Meenakshi’s name, and being the first girl child my parents decided the same name for me…

I was curious to know the other options that were considered and asked him what were the other names those were tried by other relatives….he fanatically said a list of names like Palani ammal (my grand mother’s name) and Meena Lochani...Oh! Thanks God for keeping me so primed at that point that not to turn to other names. It is better that Iam called Vinodhini than Loshini or Palani ammal! It’s better to be last in the class than to be a laughing stock.

We were in Calcutta when I was 12…. In Bengali there is no letter sounding ‘V’ as they always pronounce it as ‘B’. My friends and neighbors over there would call me Binodhini…… my mother’s name is Velvizhi…. Think how much they would have snuffed out her name….at that stage I had a bigheaded feeling that my name starts with a such a precious letter which the other language doesn’t have…..Perception on certain things varies depending on our age, how true it is???

Once in college I got a beautiful birthday wish with a message from one of my classmate. Applying phonetics and Tamil to my name he had written ‘’WE KNOW THEEEE NEE” I asked him, why is it so, he replied that, he always could find a fire within me as an urge to learn things and with full of determination to achieve the goals. I had a sleepless night after that…..my thoughts worried me thinking …. Do I really stand to the meaning of my name?

The next day I searched for the exact meaning of my name …. I found in a book that Vinodhini stands for a LOTUS. I started comparing myself to a lotus…..I remember that’s when I decided to live up to my name…..

All the lotuses I observed enjoyed the company of water lilies. The lotuses were able to take advantage of these water lilies for upward orientation even if they are crowded on the surface of the water. By seeing this I understood, “The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them." and also “Everything that irritates about others is for the true understanding of self”

“The lotus is often viewed as a symbol of aspirations to rise towards the light”. Like sunlight which makes lotus to bloom, it’s always friends and well wishers’ support is making to unfold the talents of this lotus (me)....

Lotus flowers start off as a seed in the bottom of a pond, the mucky, smelly swamp, but still they grow,and as they grow they eventually make their way out of the tarnished, stinking pond, they rises above the water to the top where they become a beautiful successful flower. Now obviously this is a metaphor relating to people's lives.

Whenever I see a lotus I feel as if she says to me,” You can be in the worst conditions possible; much like me, but with considerable growth and determination you can get to the top of the world and become something more than what you were born into. You can become the beautiful, successful "flower" at the top of your pond.” … what it represents is beauty and success.

I also learnt that we are named not only for individual recognition but also to live up to the name… as great people’s names are still remembered not because of their names and its spellings it’s just the way they lead their life. “we must live as we think; otherwise we shall end up by thinking as we have lived." now days I think I was born to live up to the meaning of my name for my next generations to keep saying it, so do me….

STAY TUNED !!!

It’s the time of the year again to reflect on how we have conceded the previous year and to compose New Year resolutions – we make promises to ourselves that something in our lives will get better, our finances, our relationships, and our career. By this time my husband might be telling to his friends that he has conserved his last year’s resolution of not to eat too much chicken and kababs at the parties and when everyone looked suitably impressed by his consistency, he would simply add, “See I kept it written in my wallet!”

Desperately it’s common every year we face the “January Gym Phenomenon” we make New Year resolutions but wouldn’t continue with it beyond the first month. I have been through it, and been pretty much amused with the game I play with myself every January, for so many past Januaries.

These many years I have been actively making new-year resolutions on standard patterns of our life…, FITNESS, as ever it lasts for just few weeks. In fact, my fitness resolutions moves backwards… and my horizontal proportions keep growing by the year… forgetting conveniently about the chaats and pizzas I had I analyzed the reasons… and then realized that most of these resolutions were just ad hoc feel good thoughts and did not really fit into a concrete plan.

But this time I’m determined not to fail and give up on any of my resolutions. And my resolutions are not the usual ones… and who else other than my friends to share these thoughts… don’t get alarmed, iam not going to trouble your conscience with fitness tips…… this is just about how to handle resolutions successfully and feel good at the end of the year

However armed with a little impel and readiness to plan, anyone can insure a successful change for a better 2010. Most of us have read or heard advice on setting goal, my recommendation is to have EDSODA; it’s not an ordinary soda which will make you burp badly in front of others it’s the one which will make others to astonish on your accomplishments. Cool friends iam not a brand ambassador to advertise a soft drink, let me explain what it is E,D,S,O,D,A - EDSODA,

where ,

E stands for experience in the past,

D-Direction,

S - for situation now,

O - Outcome desired

D -Deadline &

A - Action steps. The results of your EDSODA practice will enable you to set up your goal funnel, which in turn narrows your annual goal to a small end concentrating on your daily actions.

First of all how to set a goal? Keith Ferrazzi wrote in his book ‘who’s got your back’, “the only difference between a dream and a goal, is that a goal is put into writing.” To do these perform a small home work like look at your past experiences, what will be heading you further? What are you now and where do you want be? The lack of these specifics for a goal is the pathway for several scapegoats.

Secondly! Setting a Goal Timeline. The number one reasons that a new year’s resolution fail are time, priority and accountability. Since the goal is specific – one can easily set a timeline detailing measurable progress by scheduling on a calendar. Now suddenly your goal is scheduled with a since of expectation, priority.

Finally secret to succeeding an oath lies in making it automatic. We are all aware that practice makes perfection, but the real twinge lies in practicing regularly. To avert one from losing track of their goal due to time constraints (or other excuses) they should ‘make it automatic’. This can be more easily achieved with some goals than others. For example the goal of saving rs2000/- a month for vacation can be done by opening a savings account, but for the more demanding goals, making it automatic may take some initiative; perhaps thinking outside the box for ways to assure a goal’s success.

In moving the desired direction you will realize that you will have to acquire new habits of thinking and doing. At this stage the rule of 21 comes to your assistance. Let us suppose that you need to improve your vocabulary this year. Fix it 5 new words a day for a 21-day cycle all over again till you compete one cycle without a break. At the end of a successful 21-day cycle, you will have a new habit and had learnt more than 100 words in a month.

Regardless of the method is archaic, it is important to find a way to ‘make it automatic’. One of the biggest set backs that people who set new year’s resolutions encounter is missing their target or temporarily falling off the wagon. It might be something unexpected. Maybe it is not of their own doing, such as someone focused on saving money who encounters an unplanned expense. Too often this is enough to derail the whole resolution. Instead it is important to accept the challenge, but not the defeat. Get back on the horse and start all over again.

After all these resolutions are just to lead a organised life, i just wanted to add few more tips like an icing on a cake - be receptive, forget and forgive , let off what had not turned up, spread positive energy, treat each person you meet equally!!- these constitute a spiritual quest but ultimately this is the art of making the ordinary moments of your life extraordinary.” Stay tuned! Blissful new year waits ahead……

MY LIFE

"Family faces are magic mirrors looking at people who belongs to us in the PAST,PRESENT & FUTURE",Dear Friends I would like to use this chance of discussing about my life by dividing the events into three past, present and future.

I was told by my parents that my birth date was 21^st sep ’83.My father a nationalized bank employee who was always busy in maintaining the credits and debits of other families, was cautious that we should have zero knowledge about banks and its processes.. Especially my mom, as he has to debit his salary to her credit every month …,. My mom; a typical home maker managed the entire affairs of the family and I enjoyed the happiness and joy of being an only child…. For the first four years of my life…mmmmm what a life!!??,then my competitor in the form of my dear brother was born…and he gave me good company, right from tearing my home work notes and fighting over food, books, pencils, eraser, etc, etc.

My parents had their share of troubles with various relatives on both sides, but they are till date, one of the most compatible couples, and I had the pleasure of growing up with such wonderful parents

In studies I was an above average student in all subjects except one… the maths. If I had passed with 45 marks my maths teacher would consider it as an extraordinary performance and gift me a pen. I was good at naming all my maths teachers with excellent nick names. Unfortunately, there was always a Brutus amongst my friends to report the nick name to the teacher… and…the next scene would be a private discussion between my mom and the principal… luckily the principal appreciated my work in other areas, and the only advice she gave was, “ask her not to give me a nickname, please” because she was also a Maths teacher…..

Next… phase of my life was in hostel… 4 yrs of college life … to describe it in 40 secs… it was the time I understood the reality about life, I was let free no one to keep on telling me to study, but still i realized my responsibilities, I was sincere to the core in enjoying life with friends and study as well. I secured my engineering degree as a topper in the class….

“This past is never lost and is always there for my retrieval and enrichment of the present”

Now in present life i experience two important roles…..

Role one is that…. Iam an obedient kid to my 2 ½ years old son…..my so called big daddy teaches me lessons of life every day. It’s from him Iam learning how to be empathetic, and what is patience is all about. Born to this maths genius – can you all imagine my spell bound happiness when my son said 1 to 10 before saying amma or appa…

My second role is iam being a caring mom to my husband, who has lost his mother’s love and affection at the age of 18. He is a major in Indian army. “In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all.” I always feel that my life wouldn’t have been this good if he hadn’t been my partner. He has given me complete freedom to take my decisions and me on the other part wouldn’t take a single decision without considering his opinion. It is making me to believe in arranged marriages of course…..

"True happiness is...to enjoy the present,without anxious dependence upon the future."

To talk about a future, being Mrs. Olive green it’s very hard to hold long term goals for me, the reason is he is shuttled to different places in India for every 3 years. Once we reach a place and unpack things to have a normal routine … the next posting arrives, so after marriage I stopped having a long period vision about a career or something related to it. So for future I go with Albert Einstein who has said “I never think of the future. It comes soon enough”.

For me, life is really a journey, and I undertake this journey with the spirit of adventure…I’m presently working in client servicing in an ad agency, my aspiration is to grow as a HR in career...

When you look at my life, the greatest happiness is with my family… my parents, brother, husband and son… and the family bond keeps me going on and on…